Life 2.1

I’m currently on my couch. This is a step up, from my bed, where I have been living for the past 3 days. Why would I live in my bed for 3 days? Oh, that’s easy. I have been fending off death. NBD*.

I have been bored out of my mind since Thursday, when I (and 20+ others who I see on a daily basis) fell ill.

On Wednesday night, I noticed my throat was kinda bugging me but I thought it was because I sleep with a fan on me and I was all dried out. I’m also convinced that my crappy apartment has some sort mold growing in the walls or something. Probably Chinese drywall. So Thursday I woke up and felt the same, I chalked it up to allergies and headed out to practice number one of our last two-a-day.

I made it through the practice, feeling slightly stiff, and I believe I happened to liken myself to a 86-year old woman at one point. Following getting my hair cut, which was cut way to short for my liking–ugh I headed back to work for practice number two. Prior to Practice #2, I headed down to the training room to see about getting something for my chest congestion. Upon entering the training room, there were lots of other people who must have felt like 86-year old women, because there was lots of temperature-taking and the filling out of paperwork. Upon hearing my symptoms, my temperature was also taken and registered as a stellar 101.0 degrees. Fail.

Fast-forward to when I went home early, feeling worse as the evening went on. My entire body ached. Joints that I didn’t know I had hurt. Looks like I shoulda paid attention to the email that circulated a few weeks ago about the cases of H1N1 (read: swine flu) that broke out in another part of campus.

Needless to say, Thursday night’s sleep wasn’t awesome. Friday afternoon I think my fever finally broke because I was sweating like I had just had the workout of my life. I was throwing off BTUs to the point where I got in my car and drove around with the air blowing on me for a while. Sure that my temperature must have been 109 or something, I was in awe when the thermometer beeped that it was only 98.2.

I did get a nice e-card from my office-mate. It was thoughtful.

How thoughtful

I began eating again on Friday, which was neat. I have consumed my weight in chicken noodle soup and am hoping to move onto heavier things shortly. I’m currently feeling exponentially better, although I don’t sound it. I still have a stuffy nose and a cough that would rival a chain smoker but I’m hanging in there.

So in conclusion, swine flu is NOT awesome.

Now I’m off to disinfect my entire house.

*No Big Deal

2 Comments | In: Life in the boot-shaped state | tags: H1N1, swine flu. | #

Now that I live in The Boot, I would be remiss if I didn’t discuss hurricane season. That is, June 1-November 1, with the heart of the season ranging from about August 15-the end of September(ish). And I have been paying attention to Tropical Storm Claudette, which is set to hit the Florida panhandle pretty quick, making me think of my own personal plan, should one drift on over to The Boot.

And, since today falls within the aforementioned “heart of the season”, I’m learning about lots of different activity that goes on in the Gulf of Mexico. And I’m learning to decipher initials, and I will now impart my new knowledge on my California (and other non-Boot) readers.

T.W.- I don’t really pay attention to these initials because they stand for Tropical Wave, which isn’t reason to pack up the valuables. They happen all the time and there are tons happening each hurricane season and the winds usually only get up to 25 mph, if that. That’s not even fast enough to get a speeding ticket in a neighborhood.

T.D.- While I would normally associate these letters with a score in the game of American football, in the world of weather, it stands for Tropical Depression. It’s the next phase after a tropical wave. It’s still “disorganized” (another meteorologist term) but there is this thing called “closed circulation” which is when winds are no longer blowing in every which direction like they do with a tropical wave, but instead blowing counter-clockwise.

T.S.- A tropical depression becomes a Tropical Storm when lots of thunderstorms and the like move over the closed circulation and winds get be anywhere from 40ish mph to 79 mph.

Hurricane- This does not need any kind of initialing with it because when a tropical storm hits hurricane status, I’m tail lights.

But don’t worry. I have a plan in case this happens. First, I monitor this site. Technically because of my job, I’m considered “Mission Critical” (their name, not mine) which means I evacuate with my team currently in season (football) and that plan is to go to Jackson, Mississippi Shreveport, Louisiana. Personally-speaking, I will be putting all 18 of my scrapbooks in a black plastic garbage bag (it’s probably raining so I gotta waterproof them, duh!) then into my largest suitcase, grabbing the fire/water/bullet/100-pound anvil-proof briefcase that contains any important documents and my external hard drive and a bag of clothes (obvi) and putting it all in my trunk prior to the evacuation. In case you need to know.

2 Comments | In: Life in the boot-shaped state | tags: evacuation, hurricanes. | #

NEW ORLEANS - The 2009 Summer Intramural Softball Playoffs were canceled Monday due to a strike by the league’s players and coaches. The players walked out after learning of the new video game by EA Sports’ called College Intramural Softball 09, which used the names and likeness of all the players without their consent and without compensation.

Rumors persisted that the games would go on, but the fans were instead treated to a “show” of three scab teams playing a round-robin.

“We walked out,” The Staff manager Justin Newell said. “We didn’t even go out to the field. If they’re going to profit off our names and our personas, we have the right to negotiate royalties.”

Power-hitter extraordinaire William Thacker concurred. “They’ve got a guy on the cover and in the game, named me, looks like me. Has my sweet lefty stroke and crushes home runs like me. But there’s no salary for either of us. That’s wrong.”

Thacker, who led the league with five home runs, claims his name and images is all a man truly possesses in the world. “I worked hard to build my image. My name is my brand. Thacker isn’t just a power-hitter. Thacker is a franchise. If they want my likeness, they gotta gimme the loot. “

Loot is what centerfielder Kevin Wilkinson was demanding from EA Sports. Albeit, his concerns were not for royalties. Wilkinson seeks damages for defamation of character.

“I have the lowest offensive ratings in the game!” the .071 hitter lamented. “Both Colleen [LeMasters] and the other girl are like a 58 for contact and power! I have a 25 for contact and my power is a 12? A TWELVE! I thought the lowest rating possible was a 45!”

The length of the standoff between EA Sports and the players association will most-likely take months, eliminating any chance of resumption of the playoffs.

“It’s over,” Newell said. “We had our post-season party last week.”

On the field, some team in blue – which was in no way affiliated with the Athletic Department of the Division I program that hails from Uptown in the Big Easy – was crushed in two games and played horrible defense, confusing many of the fans who came out for the playoff opener.

“That wasn’t the staff? They had blue shirts on,” one (confused) unidentified fan said. Alas, it was not. Contrary to rumors, The Staff, nor any of the other teams scheduled to play took the field. This became apparent upon watching the imposters play, as the general fan consensus was that there was no way that The Staff could have played that poorly or lost by such a huge margin.

League commissioner Derek Bugg was outraged that imposters were using the intramural field without his permission. “You know what, though, I’m not gonna sit out there and yell ‘Get off my lawn’ like some old white dude. I just went home to see my girl. Whatever.”

The Staff, Team Sniggs and Los Pollos Locos finished tied for the league championship with identical 2-1 records.

*The above is a recap of how I spent my Monday night, as a member of The Staff (obvi). Game recap and story written by guest blogger Kevin Wilkinson.

3 Comments | In: Life in the boot-shaped state | tags: softball. | #

It hasn’t been an awesome 2 weeks in my auto world. First, a slight fender bender left a hole in my bumper that looked alarmingly similar to a bullet hole. In New Orleans, it’s not a far stretch, but thankfully that was not the cause. Last week, I took the car to the body shop just around the corner from my house. Since I hadn’t gotten a workout in, I figured I would drop the car off and just get my run in then, running home. I strapped on my iPod to my arm and slipped the house key, ID and debit card to pay in my iPod arm band.

It was a magnificent idea.

Until I realized that the backroads that I thought I could take were blocked by a canal and train tracks. The only other route I knew of was over the overpass at rush hour. Perfect. That wasn’t going to work so in my effort to find another route, I wound up running about five miles (that’s waaaay more than I prefer to run) out of the way, on a route that included the periphery of Zephyr Field. That’s an entire baseball stadium. Then I realized the only way home was via the overpass. On the plus side, there was so much traffic, no one was going more than 5 miles an hour so it was way safer than usual. Sorry Mom.

Not in my favor, however, was how swollen my fingers got from the heat. I couldn’t get my ring off and my fingers were tingling. Boo.

Fast-forward to Friday, when, $250 later, I had a new bumper.

Tonight, the girls and I were supposed to go out to dinner for Big Metal’s last night in Nola and the evening was also going to include some entertainment: in the form of getting our palms read in Jackson Square. Post-dinner, we went back to my car and I put the key in the ignition. I turned said key.

Nothing.

I flicked the dome light on.

Dim.

I checked my headlights but they weren’t left on.

Damn.

I tried again, coaxing the car into turning over.

Nothing.

My coaxing turned to threats of kicking said car.

Still didn’t work.

30 minutes later, P-Money came to rescue with jumper cables. The car turned over and P-Money offered to switch me cars so we could continue our adventure. Into P-Money’s man truck we went and we headed to find the palm reader that came recommended to us. We found no parking and before we could get out of the lot, P-Money called to tell us the car cut out at Elysian Fields and he had to enlist the help of two men off the street to help him push it to a side street.

Swell.

We went to pick him up and B-Squared called AAA. She gave them the address where we were parked and the dispatcher’s response?

“I’ll be sure to rush that truck. It seems here on the map that you’re not in the safest of neighborhoods.”

Phenomenal.

Gary, from AAA seems to think it’s not my battery but rather my alternator.

Craptastic.

On the plus side, P-Money is very handy under the hood of a car and is going to teach me to either change a battery or replace an alternator tomorrow. Awes.

1 Comment | In: Life in the boot-shaped state | tags: car trouble. | #

…or two…or eight. Subtitled: The Athletics Staff Goes to Perdido Key

I can’t believe it took me this long to discuss the fact that I (again–yay!) went to Florida for a mini-break. Promptly at 5pm on Friday, some of the girls hit the road to Perdido (CA-readers: think Pensacola) to meet up with the other half of the Perdido Crew, who had the pleasure of departing Thursday night.

Now, before I get into the joy that was Perdido, I think I must do the car ride to Perdido justice. And by justice I mean it’s time to discuss what went down on said car ride. Because I had never been to a Sonic, it was determined that I must try it because, let’s face it, who doesn’t like tots? So, Wendy busted out her iPhone and began searching for the Sonic nearest the *lovely* city of Theodore, Alabama. (You too will call it lovely. Read on.)

We drove a while and according to the iPhone, the Sonic was supposed to be in a building that most closely resembled a bail bonds store. I’m not entirely sure that was the function of the building, but they coulda fooled me.

So we call on Lola (my GPS) and Big Metal found us another Sonic down the road. We pulled in ordered up, sitting outside of the car for a bit, waiting for our food. Whilst waiting for our meal, we notice a dark-colored sedan with rims, idling in the area of the gas station where one might check the air in their tires. Thinking nothing of the sedan, we wait patiently for our food, chit-chatting. Then, an old beater of a truck pulls up and we witness what we can only determine to be a drug deal. Phenomenal.

Fast-forward to the end of the trip when we think we should probably use the restroom before we get back on the road. We promptly discover there is no toilet paper in said restroom. So Wendy goes in search of toilet paper. She returns, one roll in hand, and informs us that we must return the roll to the cashier because she practically had to give them her license in order to obtain TP. Really, people??

Shaking our heads in disbelief, we rotate in an out of the bathroom and return the roll, only partially kidding when we ask if they are going to charge us per square used.

Then we get in the car and continue our journey. We finally arrive around 10:30 and wind up just chattin’ away until finally at 2am we decide we have a big day of nothing but lounging going on so we had better get some sleep!

Three cheers for sleeping in on a Saturday!

After our leisurely Saturday morning, we all loaded up and headed to Publix where all things delicious are housed. I think Publix is my favorite grocery store. It saddens me that they are not in Louisiana. We bought lunch and stuff for dinner because the idea of all of us showering and getting ready to go out sucked the fun out of dining at a restaurant. Then it was straight to the pool. Where this went on:

Bean and me

Syd and Marley

Bean, Wendy and Leeann

Bean and me

Lisa and me

Leeann demonstrates some of the quality reading time we had

The Perdido Crew

Our weekend palace

After the sun went behind the resort building, thus putting our lounges in the shade, we simply packed up and walked 100 yards further until our toes hit white sand. Check this out:

Yea, this wasn’t too shabby

Lisa livin’ it up on the beach

Body surfing in the ocean

Then we had a nice relaxing dinner and movie night with the girls was a solid night!

Sadly, I wish I had more to report for Sunday but Big Metal and I spent a good portion of it on the road back to the boot where I had a meeting at 5pm but it was still a good weekend getaway!

Ladies of Perdido Crew, if I left anything out, feel free to remind me in the comments field below. I know there were a ton of good stories that I probably forgot!

3 Comments | In: Life in the boot-shaped state, Social Adventures | tags: beach, girls weekend, Perdido, vacation. | #